| Schedule schedule schedule |
[Jan. 8th, 2010|11:31 am] |
Happy 2010, all!
Here's a short list of what's coming for me/writing ourselves whole for the first part of the year -- starting next week!
Send me a note for more info (jennifer@writingourselveswhole.org)! (I, on the other hand, commence the deep breathing. :)
xox!
Jen
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Begins next Monday! Winter 2010: Write Whole: Survivors Write. Open to all women survivors of sexual trauma. (8 Monday evenings beginning 1/11) $225-300, sliding scale
Winter 2010: Healing Through Writing: a workshop for folks living with cancer. Through the UCSF Mt. Zion Art for Recovery program. (7 Thursday mornings, begins 1/21) Contact Cindy Perlis for more info:Cynthia.Perlis@ucsfmedctr.org
Jan 30, 2010 (1-4pm): Declaring Our Erotic: a queer women's erotic writing workshop (In honor of the Body Heat Femme Porn Tour!), at the writing ourselves whole workshop space, $20
Jan 29-30, 2010 8pm, $10-15: Body Heat at the Center for Sex and Culture! Join us for one of these SNEAK PEEK pre-Tour shows! Jan 29: Carol Queen / Kathleen Delaney / Jen Cross / Madison Young /Vixen Noir aka Veronica Combs / Amelia Mae Paradise from Diamond Daggers; Jan 30: Shar Rednour / Daphne Gottlieb / Kathleen Delaney / Jen Cross / Alex Cafarelli / Lady Fantastique)
Feb 2010: Declaring Our Erotic: a writing workshop for ALL queer survivors of sexual trauma (4 Tuesday evenings, beginning 2/2, at Modern Times Bookstore. $50-100, sliding scale)
Feb 10, 5:30-6:30: Quick-n-Dirty Erotic Writing happy hour at Good Vibes, Polk St! Free! http://events.goodvibes.com
Feb 13, 12:00-4:00pm: Write Whole with Survivorship. Survivorship is an amazing and community-led org for folks who are survivors of ritual or cult abuse. Free!
March 10-27: Body Heat: Femme Porn Tour. The cross-country extravaganza! In this our fourth installment, Kathleen Delaney (Atlanta, GA.), Diana Cage (NYC), Meliza Bañales (San Francisco, CA), Jen Cross (San Francisco, CA), Nicky Click (Durham, NH),Gigi Frost (Boston, MA), Sossity Chiricuzio (Portland, OR.), Alex Cafarelli (San Francisco, CA.), and Al Schlong (Atlanta, GA) are prepared to rock off all your socks. We begin in Boston and our finale is scheduled for Vancouver! (Visit my website or myspace.com/femmeporntour FMI!
Spring 2010: Write Whole: Survivors Write - for women survivors of sexual trauma (8 Monday evenings beginning 4/5) $225-300, sliding scale
Spring 2010: Declaring Our Erotic: an erotic writing workshop open to everyone! (8 Tuesday evenings beginning 4/6) $225-300, sliding scale
Spring 2010: Healing Through Writing: a workshop for folks living with cancer. Through the UCSF Mt. Zion Art for Recovery program. (8 Thursday mornings, begins in April, date not yet confirmed) Contact Cindy Perlis for more info:Cynthia.Perlis@ucsfmedctr.org
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Want more info? Check out www.writingourselveswhole.org! |
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| My List! |
[Jan. 7th, 2010|10:16 pm] |
See previous post. I decided not to apply to the job, btw. The pay sucked.
The Naughts - Le Tigre, Jean Grae, Me'Shell N'degeocello, Blackalicious, Sharon
Jones and the Dap Kings
The 1990s - Hole, Nine Inch Nails, The Creatures, Robyn Hitchcock, Red Hot Chili Peppers
The 1980s - Adam Ant (OK, Adam and the Ants), Gang of Four, The Clash, Prince, The Smiths
The 1970s - Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, The Spinners, The Temptations, Sly & The Family Stone |
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| The Brave |
[Jan. 7th, 2010|07:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  determined | ] |
Someone asked me what had changed, what had ignited this furious affection for ambition.
It's simply that I have nothing left to lose. I no longer fear anything. Nothing holds me back.
And the brave are neither shamed nor tamed. |
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| A Perfectly Logical Essay on Why I Will Be Alone Forever |
[Jan. 7th, 2010|05:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
I'm sitting here blasting freaking Keri Hilson + Kanye West, too tense to revise and I need to warm the fuck on up.
So I'm going to write a perfectly logical essay on why I will be alone forever.
Ok first off, let's not kid ourselves here, love doesn't even really exist. I mean you find yourself crazy over someone for some period of time, shortly before you find out they either A) Are cheating on a significant other of some sort B) Totally incompatible due to some lifestyle habit or personality clash C) Just not that into you.
Well, at least this is my reality, anyway. Maybe results vary with other people, but this has been the story of my life for, um, the past three years. At one point I thought i'd met the love of my life and that I was really really in love (TM.) But unfortunately, clause C came into the picture and that was the end of that.
I'm no longer looking at being single as it's a terrible thing, even if it is hurtful. I think the problem was that before, I felt deeply hurt and lonely because I assumed I completely sucked and was way too unloveable for anybody on the planet to ever notice.
Truthfully, I am now willing to look at a lot of my previous relationships and be honest with the fact that I wasn't really into them, either, instead of wallowing in pain and self-pity.
In the past three years I dated:
- A high school dropout who never shaved and lived with me for free for a year
- An insane, abusive aerobics instructor that was cruel to me and whose skin was the color of iodine
- Some random woman who made me sit on the ground and eat a self-purchased $3 slice of pizza while she talked about the past two times she went to jail
- Someone who fell asleep on top of me with a strap on
Ok, so I was just sitting here thinking about them all (who knows why) and really, these women were losers, I am sorry. I am just going to go ahead and be an ass and say it. I was not fulfilled by any of these people intellectually, they treated me like shit, made me cry, and none of them ever did a single thing that was romantic for me. Nobody brought me flowers, two sent me death threats when I broke up with them. In fact, 90% of them didn't even make me come.
Before, in the past, i'd torture myself like a 16 year old Marilyn Manson loving goth and write epic, yet terrible Baudelarian poetry about how I was so ugly and worthless that this was all I could get.
In fact, this probably was not the case, and I was being an idiot, as well as desperate. Quite frankly I have no idea if anyone better than these people actually exists in this universe, but it was ultimately my fault for putting up with it and not leaving sooner because I had no self esteem.
Really, I don't know if I will be alone forever, and at this point I don't care. If I wanted to date some other dishonest married lady on the DL or equivalently impotent woman with the lesbian version of E.D., I could probably go out tonight into The Village and have my fill of pain. But, well, i'll save myself the cab fare and cover charges and stay in writing about fictional love instead.
If I wanted to be hurt, if I wanted someone incompatible, if I wanted to have boring, meaningless conversations, and if I really, absolutely needed bad sex, I'm sure I could waste the rest of my entire life finding these things.
But I won't.
If love really existed in this world, and if I really had my chance of finding it, then i'd want someone adventurous, fun, playful, inquisitive. Someone who appreciates the arts. Someone intellectual and unique and interesting. Someone who doesn't need herbal supplements at the Chinese grocery to not fall asleep with a fake erection.
In short, I'm picky.
And if not finding perfection means being alone for the rest of my life, I really don't think it's a bad thing anymore. I think i'd rather die at the age of 100 in a rocking chair with 7 cats and ovaries laden with cobwebs than go on another date where I have no idea what the fuck is happening and why anybody in God's name would think it would be in good taste to tell me about their husbands, boyfriends, or criminal records.
I want to go to London. Or to Paris. Finish my novel. Explore more of New York. Watch old, black and white movies or avant garde films that confuse everybody in the audience. Learn all kinds of skills that may never prove useful in everyday life.
What I don't want to do is sit on the couch watching Roseanne reruns, hoping my lover will come home sooner or later when they're done with their affair whilst I dab my eyes with Kleenexes and realize i've gained 35 pounds from eating total crap, wondering what i've done wrong again. Shortly before I have to feed 8 children who scream a lot and secretly hate me. And when she does come home? I know what i'll have to look forward to.
No sex, 5 hours of "processing our feelings."
WASTE OF MY LIFE.
I'm done! |
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| this is for MJC |
[Jan. 7th, 2010|11:41 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
The sun
looks like it's warming the earth
so that when the French Toast comes
it will not get the powdered sugar.
* For the past few days, I have LOVED how the run on bread, milk & eggs when there's a threat of snow
has been referred to as a "French Toast" alert. New favorite expression.All panic and hype around the anticipation--- or even a whiff --of flurries also amuses me. |
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| Music Question! |
[Jan. 6th, 2010|08:46 pm] |
This stems from a job app question, but it turns out to be a fun parlor game too:
Name your favorite five musical acts from the last four decades - naughties, nineties, eighties, seventies. (You can go back further, too, if you want ;) ).
I'll post my answers tomorrow. |
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| The Story of My Life |
[Jan. 6th, 2010|09:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
AN AGENT IS INTERESTED IN MY WORK!!!
I just attended a roundtable of literary agents and pitched my story to them...one of them gave me her business card and said she'd like to see the first few chapters of, "The Bridesmaid!!!!"
"Wait--" she said, pausing. "Ok, so the bridesmaid isn't in love with the groom...she's in love with THE BRIDE?"
"Well...er...yes..." I said, my face blowing up all kinds of hot red.
Her eyes lit up and she said, "Wow...this is a classic love story...with a really great twist!"
Oh I knew it! I knew that moving to New York was the right decision for me to make!
I'm so nervous...the opening in particular is very rough and will require heavy revision, yet I don't want to make her wait too long because I don't want her to forget about me.
This is it...i've waited so long for this. My whole life, to be in New York, with a novel, trying to be a real writer. I can't fail now. I am so close.
There are times at night where my heart aches and feels heavy, and lately I feel as though all of this pain and all of this anticipation is being ripped from me in a scream churning into a roar. Everything I have ever wanted to become is clawing its way out...now is the time to unleash everything and show the world what I can do. |
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| Women's Leather History Project |
[Jan. 6th, 2010|09:18 am] |
I'm reposting the official press release text, which is all the info I have:
Leather Archives & Museum
Women's Leather History Project
The Leather Archives & Museum (LA&M) is committed to collecting, preserving and providing access to the contributions, experiences, and histories of women in leather, BDSM, fetish, and related lifestyles. The Women’s Leather History Project (WLHP) represents the LA&M’s ongoing commitment to making the diverse voices of women in leather visible and heard. The WLHP will collect artifacts, stories, and other items that represent the experience of all women (straight, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, women of color). The resulting collections will be featured in future exhibitions at the Leather Archives & Museum.
Please join the WLHP and the LA&M and ring in the New Year by becoming a part of this urgent and very important project of collecting and protecting Women’s Leather History!
The WLHP is a multi-year project. Our target fund-raising goal for 2010 is $10,000, and we hope to collect an additional $2,500/year for each additional year. Donations to the WLHP will only be used for program items related to the collection and exhibition of women’s leather history at the LA&M. Your donations will fund the hiring of a professional curator, the creation of museum exhibits at the LA&M, and the acquisition and storage of women’s leather resources including:
• Papers
• Video recorded interviews
• Personal histories—oral, film, and written
• Art and visual resources
• Media—books, magazines, films, and digital media
• Artifacts—organizational and personal
Spearheading the WLHP for LA&M will be Sarah Humble and Leigha Fleming. Says Humble, “I am so excited to be involved in leading this project. I have my video recording equipment ready. It’s so important that as women we take the lead in collecting and preserving our own histories!”
Says Fleming, “We will be present at events, scheduling interviews and soliciting donations to make this project a reality. Vi Johnson & Jill Carter have become our first individual donors and SouthEast Leatherfest has become our first event donor.
We will begin accepting donations for this exciting public history project on January 1, 2010. The Leather Archives & Museum is a 501(c)3 charitable organization, therefore any contribution you make to this project is tax deductible in accordance with IRS regulations. Donations can be made via the LA&M website or by mailing a check/money order to: Leather Archives & Museum 6418 N. Greenview Avenue, Chicago, IL 60626. Please mark your contributions “women” or “WLHP.” If you have any questions, please email women@leatherarchives.org
You can visit the Women’s Leather History Project on the LA&M website at: www.leatherarchives.org/wlhp |
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| "I Do, I Do" - Opening to, "The Bridesmaid: The Musical!" |
[Jan. 5th, 2010|05:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
Well, so "The Bridesmaid" as a musical is tentatively set to debut in the third or forth week of May, right here in New York! It will most likely only be the opening of the play that's performed, as it'll be part of a festival for queer female directors and actresses. However, I want to really put a lot of bang and pow in the opening preview, so that people will come to see the whole thing once it's done!
The opening scene follows Mabel as she struggles with whether or not to tell Jessica her feelings and stop the wedding before she ascends to the altar.
Anyway, I got the urge to write music again for the first time in years, and so I wrote the opening to the play today. The opening song is called, "I Do, I Do." You can find it here on my Myspace music profile:
http://www.myspace.com/diabolicfemme
Funny thing is, it's right next to the last song I composed in 2008, "The One That Got Away." Hmm...lol. :)
I feel pretty excited about it. I tried to make different segments of the song fit the characters (ie, elusive, elegant pianos for Mabel in a frantic state, a bit of a playful motown organ solo for Durante trying to intervene, and finally, ridiculous, campy church organs for Jessica making her grand entrance as a bride!)
Composing music is not my speciality, so eventually I may need to hire a pro composer or a music consultant, depending on how far I get, but I think I did a pretty good job considering just being an amateur and playing around with music programs for the past 14 years. :) |
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| Reminder: Perverts Put Out! |
[Jan. 5th, 2010|11:33 am] |
PERVERTS PUT OUT!
The Political Hangover Edition
Saturday, January 9, 2010
7:30 pm
CounterPULSE
1310 Mission Street, San Francisco
$10-15 sliding scale
To the consternation of the right-wing blogosphere, Perverts Put Out! returns to the scene of the crime at CounterPULSE for our post-holiday Political Hangover Edition. American-culture-destroying performers include Meliza Bañales, Greta Christina, Sherilyn Connelly, Stephen Elliot, Philip Huang, Nabil Hijazi and TedPro, Kirk Read, Lori Selke, and emcee Simon Sheppard, with some juicy words for the shocked-and-awful set. A splendid sex-and-politics time is guaranteed for all...except maybe Glenn Beck. Not to be missed!
(Please feel free to forward and/or repost. Keep track of this and other shows at http://www.simonsheppard.com/pervertsputout.html).
P.S.: If you'd like to be put on the direct mailing list for PPO, drop me a line. |
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| Twin P.S. |
[Jan. 4th, 2010|11:38 pm] |
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The bedtime ritual worked a second time. |
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| Your Kid Cuteness Newsletter, Again |
[Jan. 4th, 2010|08:17 pm] |
1. April self-soothes by singing herself the ABC song. (Well, her version.)
2. This morning, Simone pretended to be a cat. Then she pretended to be a monster. Then she pretended to comb her hair with a fish.
3. Both babies know exactly one yoga position: downward dog. April performed it on command this evening. |
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| Taking a Big Bite out of the Big Apple |
[Jan. 4th, 2010|10:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | determined | ] |
I received my second editorial consultation on the novel today.
The editor said she, "Was a big fan of my novel" and "found me to be an impressive, upcoming writer."
YOU HEAR THAT? I AM TAKING NEW YORK DOWN IN 2010 BABY!!!
In 2009 I directed my first movie.
Wrote a 100 page full-length script.
Finished the first draft of a 398 page novel in 30 days.
Moved to the city of my dreams.
If I can do that, then I can do ANYTHING I put my freaking mind to!
I have too much love for writing, too much love for directing, and too much love for art.
I can no longer waste this love on a human being in a relationship.
I realize now after being hurt so many times and taking the time to be single, using that energy in my creativity that I am married to the page and the stage.
With us, it's 'till death do we part.
If I would have just taken all of the energy I spent crying over girls and chasing the wrong people, used that energy to write, I would have made it big by now. But I didn't. I let myself be drained and lost sight of who I was.
Now that I remember who I am, and now that I know I am striking true, nothing in this world will stop me from striking harder and harder until I make my mark.
My mother even put my novel down at my aunt's house, after reading it, and said, "Moving to New York was the best decision you have ever made. Esther, I have not seen you write with a passion like this in your entire life. It's time to go forth and become your dream." |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2010|05:45 pm] |
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It's time for me to write my bio for PPO. Now taking suggestions. |
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